Thursday, October 24, 2013

Hills!

I left things behind, her gleaming photographs, her scarf, a thick papery wisdom which she once lent me and then never took it back, a basket of her memories and a heart that had cried for her. So, to relish and fall in love with the slippery silence of mountains, singing of anonymous birds, smell, sap and individuality of each pine and oak tree, sharp edged old rocks, fluffy sheet of pearly clouds. I will confine in them, I had thought.

Life is surreal but even in new places, we find a similarity, we are familiar. Just, like I sense a conversancy with the curved tracks, with the season of shiver on the hills, with the rook of an official tourist guide, with the hum of wind and with the gloom and murk of the mountains and still how they look majestic with lighted homes, unevenly distributed on the slopes, wide, vast flare, asymmetrical yet beautiful in the black.

Something on the top of the farthest hill, a source of light we see, may be a home of a familiar stranger. How amazing life would that person have, said Asish and we gazed in silence, eyes wide open to scoop out. I wonder, who, so different from his compatriot, who much in love, would have been living there, where sky kisses the forehead of a mountain. How romantic home would that be.

We return back to our hotel. And while I was trying to comfort and warm my shivering, skinny body, I think of our moments of intimacy, when we uttered nothing, shared and talked with eyes, with heart and mind, our body melted as one, speaking just in thoughts, similar thoughts. 
I still feel the same even when she is far away, not in touch, no letters and no calls. Her thoughts poise me. And still, we brilliantly talk, share and cuddle, just in thoughts.

The vehicle of my conscience never lets me confine in these few years, from the birth to death.
I might have left the things which I can touch and see, but how do I separate what I feel?


Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Another Verse!

The insane beer had swiped the moisture from my throat
I stared at the crescent moon with tiny pink yellow arc lamps around it
No I wasn't waiting for an accidental shooting star
Nor I wanted to get in cacophony of the turbulence rushing inside
Words I had said, emotions I failed to fathom
And I was searching for your eyes to soak some sunshine
For the twist of your breeze to land in sanity
Restive gust smashed my face
Thunders cracked the wild blue yonder into chunks 
Was that a prudence for a forthcoming tornado?
Why a man never has enough tears I asked my forlornness!
Only my ink and the blank sheet knew where I could find you
With deserted lungs and my craggy hands I picked up a feather
My beloved, this dawn wants me to write another verse for you
And I will cotton on to the papery romance like the love we make
Longing for the warm caresses, longing for you...

Inspired from - After the Shower by Anunoy

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

"The Home of 60's"

I long for my mud home of 60's
With soothing scent of monsoon around
With careless white pigeons flying back homes in the dusk
And cattle’s singing, staring the sun slipping down the sky
Where dawn wakes up with temple bells
Where people wear a white soul

In a twilight long gone by
North-star appeared so bright
Saptrishi illustrated different signs
Like a puzzle game till the dawn

Oh..How badly I miss my mud home of 60's
How deeply I long
With my paralyzed heart
With morality and Baba’s teaching deep asleep
With a black curtain covering my dawn
I take a deep breath and cherish the memories
That some day I will find my home again
If not in my life, possibly in my grave!
On a winter afternoon in 'Kasnap'

Friday, May 17, 2013

Catastrophe!



Tough I named it 'Catastrophe' but my hopes breath, they shine and I see them becoming a fraction of my life. Declaring 'Stoic' in the end helps me with a grin, with a life!
 
I lock myself up amid the stars
With planets and dark rough particles floating around
I daydream of you
In the black hole of memories I’ve created

Nothing lasts forever they say,
But I thought you and your spring would
Leaving myself untied, I fly alone
And my eyes flood with tears I have left behind

The rainbows vanish
The stars turn dark
Sun eclipsed
I guess my fate never had a love story between stars
With tendering tune of flute

Engaging in warfare with myself
I hunt for you
So to fix things up
So to live the life we sketched

Loneliness steals my smile
And prose’s of you brings it back
The sweet memories will be my life’s phase again
Stoic wrote the truth!

Monday, April 15, 2013

Tempting love




I look at her, hoping to uncover
what’s beneath her skin
to wrap myself around her
and slumber with her spirit
to enfold and share her stirring
her shining, her warm
eager to sense her innocence

I want to loose my corners
and be lost in her splendor
touch her golden fingers
her butterfly eyes
when her hairs cascade over me

I want to adore her
her charm and love
that she entices me
I want my body to merge with her
Yearn with an urge to clinch her
to taste her taste
and not with the physical sagacity
this love making we will share

One day stars will align to make this possible
They will feed our fire and keep us aglow
with a sweet joy that would wrap us as one
Without fear and forever
I will cross outer boundaries to obtain her
I will fight the thunders
from a heartbeat, a hope, a stare and a smile!


Sunday, April 14, 2013

Just for a little time!

They say time fixes it all.
Time heals as they say.
So we shall now give each other some time.
Not together, but just a little far away
Not forever, but just for a little time
For we both to live our precedence's
For our love to not shatter in folly
We must stay apart for a while, for a little time.
I am wretched by daily woes
My heart aches and throat chokes
And I know even you undergo the same
I don’t tend to steal your endurance
Let’s not make our emotions fragile
Lets be lost and commit no wrong
And let us not hurt each other for a while, for a little time

Let us reach a common ground
Small tracks means nothing
When ought to travel a life
Let us grasp our refuge
Let us pick the same heaven
And then we could sleep together on the edge of silence
With our souls meeting as one under the white moon.
So let us give each other some time.
Not together, but just a little far away
Not forever, but just for a little time
Lets be bitter today
That tomorrow will just be a little sweeter.
Am aware that you now know
That I can’t hide the love
Maybe, I have not learnt it yet.
I wonder if you have lost your affection.
I wonder how many rhymes of mine
you can swallow, silently
I wonder how many times
you can hide the love you have for me
I wonder..
Before you explode with bitterness
Behind my poetry
There are million things unsaid.
People don’t come with free trials
When true, people are forever
And I don’t want you to be impermanence
No, I don’t expect that out of you.
In the dead of winter
You were a red bud
outside my window,
In my misty grey garden
And when it has grown up
I don’t want it to be fragile
You were the sun
fighting with my dark demons
And when it has invoked brightness
I don’t want it to fade..
My darling, my entire life
I don’t want my sun to fade
I don’t want my bud to be fragile
I want you see your permanence
The sun has set many-a-times
But I will notice it only once.
I miss you.
Like I would miss a lung
My heart
or my rib
That you have become an inseparable part of me
Interwoven inside me
An integral part of my core.
I hope life is easy for you, you could breathe easier now.

NO!

No .. I don’t wanna amend us.. 
I don’t wanna change. 
For we must not stay in disappointments. 
I don’t wanna amend us and carry shadows of past. 
No, I will never amend us to be a puppet attached with swings.
For once let us be free in thoughts. 
Lets be mirrors. 
And make no clouded judgement. 
And not speak the words that make our world’s fine but not US!

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Did you ever realize?

Did I ever tell you?
That you are as soft like silk
And taste like morning dew
That you smell sweet and green
Like new white buds in the garden

Did I ever mention?
That the rainbows emanate 
When a pearl like tear is hung on your eye lashes

Did I ever illustrate
That how I want to at look you when you are asleep 
And discover the perfect landscape from the creases on your eyelids
How I do wish to kiss you then and go lost in that scenery

Did I ever describe?
That you are a part of me
My beloved you fall deep in my reflections
And without you I would drift away 
Drift away on a lonesome place several time zones away
Will drown in fears and insecurity
I will turn breathless and will silently starve for you

Did I ever tell you?
That you uplift me
That you make me feel like ‘I can turn tides’
And shake the moon
That I can pull the stars down
And can be vibrant than them

Did you ever realize?

Happy B'day Baba

Mostly in spotless white, he breathed peace and serenity, love, bondage and truth. We are fortunate to be graced by him. He believed in the power of 4 am. His love was extremely pure & pious, sans any expectations. He tied us all in a single thread. He made protective walls for each one us. Walls from his teachings, walls of human bondage. He made the perfect band of Tiwari’s. And nothing breaks the bond that binds. 

I mostly saw him in his half-sleeve spotless white under-shirt and lungi, with his HMT wrist watch and dial inwards. His thick specs, off white and a little brown at edges. The way he looked at hibiscus showed his love towards nature. The way he smiled at my mistakes and corrected me for ‘ghas’ and ‘hathi’ still knocks me out when I make mistakes.

I stare at the stars now, vivid, smiling from far away. I watch the twinkling souls that they have finally found their way.
Happy B'day Baba. - 4th April, 1923

Poetic Whispers - (II)

You have graced my dreams. 
I wish if your insight could make it right. The unsaid emotions could bring some light. As my eye-lids flutter, throat chokes, heart turns, tumbles, beats louder and faster. I regret for yesterday. In the dawn I should have kissed your pink lips back and held you close as you took a step ahead to whisper something that you had never said before. But I was afraid to lose the game of life. I regret. I should have loved you like you deserved.

I wish. May be someday it will come to pass again. Again our hearts will beat and we can then hear the flow of heartbeats, loud, matching one another in a musical melody, like the sweetest love song. 

May be. Just may be. And until that may be comes, my tears will freeze.



Poetic Whispers - (I)

The silver stretch and the shimmering gold… The tides and the melody.. The pink dusk and the grey haze.. And beneath the wide blue roof the wind rushes..whistles in my ear.. One by one bright stars show high.. perplexed; which one shall I choose? Just like thoughts in my head they are also scattered! My lonely heart resounds.. I smile as a tear rolls down my cheeks. I look around and call out your name, only to be lugged away by the wind.. As it blew away to distant..I stared at the horizon again, sighed and thought, at sunset if there are you longing for me as I do! Moon dives in the sky and I watch you in my hallucination, beyond, beyond the sky. ‘Next step is love’ plays in my head, a smile dances on my lips as I turn and walk back home…

Ten Good reasons to blog again!


It’s now dark and I have finished writing a poem and I just don’t want it be tucked in my offline Ms-Word copy. The rule is that only coherent thoughts are allowed to be published. But this doesn’t apply in my world.

So, below are the ten good reasons why I want to blog again and why you should give it a go!

1. Because I got a new pen: Believe this. Okay, I already had pens but then again my new pen gives me a good feeling. Though I had got it long time back. But then, what should you write about? Fishes? Summer? Chips? Crowded like shit Delhi Metro? Oh.. wait. I know you will read it all what I scribble here.

2. Because I have been crowding my Facebook wall with long status updates & was resistant to poke people with my passive-aggressive posts: Dare! This is my world. I am the king and I will write everything.

3. Because I was thinking that I have become lame and I don’t know my job: No explanations!

4. Because I have a story inside: Life is a picture. A film to be precise and I want you to see it in my words. Because that’s all I have. The story needs a hyperbole.

5. Because I seek a distraction: Okay! It’s not actually a distraction but it is something that calms me.

6. Because I have experiences that I want to share for the good of others: Yes. We learn from our own field of experiences but then again our frame of references also helps in life. Helps a lot.

7. Because there are things which I can’t express when I just speak!

8. Because I haven’t updated from a long time: I see my visitors graph going high. People around the world land here and they find just old stuffs and that brings to a halt - their REVISIT.

9. Because you are reading this: Just because you are reading this. Dear reader, a writer definetely seeks appreciations but at the same time he also expects reactions, not just the plain ones. But reactions to calm his inner soul. And maybe this will work out :D

10. Why ten? Coz just nine were not enough! :D
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