'Longing for your love'

We promised each other to let go.

The misunderstandings. The time. Our histories. All this became badly responsible and a recipe for the disaster between us.

Somehow we linger. Still linger in each other's lives.

I told myself that I will change, will live happily without you.

And just for a little while, I thought I would stay alone for the longest time. And then you came into my life, changed the whole scenario, changed me and my choices.

And believe me, I was changed for good.

How fate drives us topsy-turvy and in no time at all, you were leaving on a jetplane to somewhere several time zones away. Away from you in a dry land of sufferings. Yes, they are sufferings; nothing other than you and your words makes me peaceful baby.  

I love you a lot but who was I to hold you from your dreams? :-( L

I told myself. It's not meant to be - Just stay friends. But it will make you cry and I was already crying when we thought of this.

So funny it is the way how my heart behaves.

I still await your late night phone calls as we talk about our days and bitch about people around us. How you make me laugh (and you singing to me sometimes and I doing it most of the timesJ).....

Oh maybe you've got me addicted. It's almost like you were still here, holding me to sleep.

I thought I was moving on. Just me, myself and I. But I got freeze, just there, where you left me weeping.

Funny, how my heart behaves.

When you uttered those 3 words, 8 letters. And the moment will repeat for sure. Coz you still love me and hurting each other for a mere reason is not love.

You will prove that how much you love me, and we won’t cry ever again… and I will be tipped off balanced than.

A few months back …

I was in train, unfortunately travelling in a general compartment… I was on my way to home, going away from herL. We were talking on phone and then she hung up without saying “luv u”. I got angry and scolded her for this lame reason. In response she yelled out and said “har baar luv u bolna jarurui nai hota”. I was going away from her, had to suffer in general comp in a horribly freezing winter. I guess she didn’t realize it that moment!

Then to tell her, what her words mean to me… I wrote this… they are not just mere words baby. When you utter them for me, it’s precious than anything else in the world.

When am all alone...
Leaving me behind when you have gone
When I cry and got to suffer on my own
Then just two words of yours brings me strength to fight
Baby it’s you with whom I can face the darkest of night.

When I am not well
Down with high fever when I swell
Body numb and eyes turn pale
Then just two words of yours brings me life
Darling it’s just your touch which helps me strive…

When I try hard and loose…
Nothing left around to choose
Saddened in thoughts when I booz
Then just two words of yours brings my conscious back
In your arms I learn everything which I lack.

When am all yours and a hesitation comes from your side...
When I cry loud and then leaving me alone, is something u decide
When I want the world to know 'how much I love you'
and then you put boundations tight
Then just two words of yours heals my soul
Peace flows inside when you console.

Baby now you could judge…
What YOU and your words mean to me
Ignore my mistakes, I bend on my knee :'(
Now you cud see..
Am fallen... Hold my hand and I want no wrong curve...
I am just desperate only for your love :-*

Sukesh